Ending on a good note

We are often told we must end on a good note in our training sessions otherwise we’re going to hinder our progress. But usually by a good note people mean achieving what you set out to no matter how long it takes.

I also like to end training sessions on a good note, but a good note to me is one that caters to the horse and their feelings, not my goals.

Horses appreciate people who consistently make good choices for them, good choices are ones which make horses feel safe and listened to. If we escalate things when our horses start to struggle or become stressed, they will develop negative associations with training, and us. This will make them more difficult to train as they will already be anxious. By learning to de-escalate situations when our horse is getting stressed and putting their feelings first, they will develop positive associations with training, and us. This will make them easier to train as they will show up to training feeling relaxed and able to learn.

I’ll give a few examples of what this could look like.

You’re having a lesson and your horse is becoming resistant to the contact, your instructor just wants you to get him to do one good 20m canter circle before you let him finish, but your horse just will not soften. Instead of persevering, accept that your horse is probably fatigued and cannot physically do what you’re asking without discomfort. Pushing him to do so at best is going to leave him with negative associations with training and at worst may cause him an injury. Advocate for your horse and tell your instructor you’re just going to finish there for the day and walk him off on a loose rein.

You want to practise loading training and your horse will only put 2 feet on the ramp, if you ask them to go any further they start to get really upset and pull away. You’ve been told you must never let them turn away from the ramp until they’ve loaded. If we look at it from an emotional point of view, making a stressed horse stay is going to feel really negative. Instead you could let the horse eat some nice feed where they’re comfortable and keep doing short sessions like that until they have much more positive associations with the trailer and don’t feel the need to leave.

You’ve been having a successful jumping session but your horse had a bit of a crash and is now refusing everything, he’s already jumped them all and you feel he has to jump them again after his refusal otherwise you’re teaching him to stop. Instead I would lower the jumps right down, onto the floor if need be, let him build a bit of confidence then finish for the day. Confidence doesn’t come from being pressured into doing something you’ve become worried about.

Prioritising our horse’s emotional state over training goals is what really builds a good relationship and a horse who feels safe around you. A horse who feels safe around you is much more likely to be relaxed and trainable. When we battle and persist until we get the desired behaviour in the name of “ending on a good note”, you pay the price to get there. 🐴