Vent

I don’t really know where this post is going I just got upset and started writing. I am tired.

I’ve been emotionally supporting a client this week who is really struggling with pressure and bullying on her yard over her decision to train her horse more gently and with positive reinforcement. She trains safely and out of the way of others, she bothers no-one and yet the passive aggressive comments just don’t stop, including from the yard owner. Despite her horse’s behaviour improving hugely anything not deemed perfect is blamed on the food or her gentleness, everyone feels entitled to their opinion and this can grind even the most confident of people down, never mind if you’re someone who already struggles with low self esteem.

The same people making these derogatory comments don’t bat an eye at people screaming at their horses, having to lead them in from the field in a bridle with two people and two lunge lines, spending 2 hours trying to load a panicking, sweating horse with a pressure halter and a flag or tying a horse’s head in with side reins while he is kicked around the arena until he complies. When these horses “act out” it is not blamed on the equipment or the training, yet as soon as food or gentleness is involved it is always the food or the gentleness that must be causing the issue.

There is such an undertone of nastiness towards horses in the industry, being angry at or laughing at horses showing stress behaviour. Within 5 minutes of scrolling this morning I saw a post of a weedy, young horse being ridden in high winds being made to canter round and round dripping with sweat, with laughing emojis of how the horse must “regret” deciding to be “a little shit” as now he’s been worked twice as hard. The next post I saw is what triggered me to start writing this, a horse with his nose tied to his chest left frantically running around with a backing dummy on his back, and sure most people were outraged about it, sort of, but nothing will happen, stuff like this happens all the time, everywhere, there are no consequences except to the horse who’s body and mind will be forever damaged.

I don’t know why this post in particular set me off, perhaps I’m trigger stacked from the stress of this week. We have had almost 2 days of 45mph winds here and my horses have had enough, Dan was really upset in the paddock this morning and I’ve been feeling bad that I can’t offer him more reassurance and safety. And then I come home and see that post and realise what so many horses are going through, then I imagined that horse was Dan and how horrific that would be and how traumatic that would be for him. I suppose my point is, once you open the door to learning about horse behaviour and how chronically stressed most horses are I don’t know how you can close it again. People will say you’re being “over the top”, but that’s because it is completely normalised to ignore horses even when they’re screaming at us.

Horses are extremely compliant animals, I say this with love but they are doormats, we abuse this.

I am so tired of seeing the constant mental gymnastics as to why treating horses horribly is good for them actually, and why treating them gently is bad, dangerous and shameful. I am sick of having to be professional when I am told the horrendous, misinformed, unethical advice my clients have been given by another professional. Being told their horse’s very obvious pain behaviour is just them trying to be dominant. The bar really is in hell.

Once you really see horses for what they are, you cannot unsee it, you can try to push it away as it makes you uncomfortable but you know deep down. There are many horses living traumatic lives which we think are treated like royalty, there are many horses who live in chronic stress for their whole lives who we think are fine, there are many horses who are in pain and shut down and out at the riding club every weekend as their owner is oblivious due to the misinformation they’re being given by the professionals around them, there are many horses in ridden work who have absolutely no business being in ridden work right now.

This has already turned into something much longer than I intended so I guess I’ll wrap it up there but there is so much more to say. I know the tone here is a little different to my usual posts but I’ve had a rough few weeks and I just wanted to get my thoughts out, maybe it’ll help someone, maybe it won’t.

Always for the horse and actually for the horse, even if that’s inconvenient or it means not getting to do the things I wanted to or it means other people will be pissed off or horrible to me.

We have to let go of conventional pressures and standards if we want to change things for the better for our horses. Its so easy to talk the talk, its not so easy to walk the walk.

I will continue to spend my time with my “silly” worries about my horses’ quality of life and I will continue to enjoy spending time with them and treating them as the wonderful, sensitive individuals they are instead of commodities for me to use. And I will continue to be here to help and support others who want to learn to do the same. I am not here to “fix” your horse, I am here to help you understand and support your horse and work towards appropriate goals.

If you’re struggling and feeling alone in this my inbox is always open.