There are so many actions we perceive as kindness as our intentions are good, but our intentions really don’t matter if the horse isn’t experiencing it that way. We can be quite abrupt and disrespectful around our horses without even realising it, it is the way many of us have been taught to be around horses and we probably don’t even notice the affect its having, I know I didn’t.
Sometimes we can be the equivalent to our horses of a person coming into your room, immediately starting to shout at you, asking repeated contradictory questions without waiting for your answers and then smacking you on the neck while calling you a good boy. Please understand when I talk about shouting, I mean figuratively “loud”, yanking on the halter, moving quickly, missing behavioural cues, having intense energy and being very abrupt in your asks.
I was stood with a client’s very sensitive, anxious horse a while ago, and her lovely friend came over to see him. She went straight up to him and started patting him on the neck while loudly telling him what a good boy he is. The horse raised his head, his eyes were on stalks and he was clearly uncomfortable and worried, and yet the person was completely oblivious to how they’d just made the horse feel. Her intentions were good, she is a lovely person, but the horse did not enjoy that at all, it actually made him really anxious and he definitely didn’t perceive it as something pleasant.
If a horse hates being touched or is frightened of people, being stroked or scratched is not going to be something they enjoy. Forcing a horse to accept touch because it makes us feel good to do so is definitely not kind. I often see horses turn their head away to try and disengage with the situation, only to be yanked back and then have their face petted as “praise”. The horse couldn’t have made it any clearer they do not want that touch, and we’re basically saying “this is happening whether you like it or not, because I’ve decided you’re supposed to like it.”
So much of horse training seems to be about making the horse compliant and saying its good for the horse. It leaves me with a sour taste in my mouth seeing a horse intensely stressed by the training and treated harshly, then forcibly petted/praised at the end of it, or even during it, so we can tell ourselves the training is kind. How would you feel about someone touching you after they’d spent the last 10 minutes intimidating/frightening you? You probably wouldn’t appreciate their praise or touch and you’d probably feel pretty confused.
If we can listen to the horse when he is expressing his discomfort, make our training quiet and predictable and prioritise the horse’s comfort levels so we are setting them up to succeed, we will start to have a horse who feels much more relaxed around us, rather than just going along with it because he feels he has to. If your horse is getting really stressed in training, it is not just something he has to go through, the training is just harsh and there is another way.
When we know how common it is for horses to have pain or discomfort in their bodies and how taxing all of the things we ask them to do can be, it is a wonder horses let us be anywhere near them at all. Horses are so observant while we move through life with our frantic energy and often don’t really observe the horse at all beyond whether or not he is doing what we want him to. It is so common to see horses scowling or uncomfortable and the person will just continue what they’re doing with either no acknowledgement, or worse will punish the horse for that communication.
Lets endeavour to treat our horses with the respect they deserve instead of feeling entitled to their bodies just because somebody decided we are. Next time you’re with your horse just hang out and gently try to touch them in different areas and really watch their face and see how they feel about it. It’s amazing how much your relationship can change once they realise you are going to listen. 🐴
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